Unmasking Asd: Navigating Autism as an Adult in Australia

Surprise, we’re aliens!

To unmask we must first understand what it means to “mask”.

Putting on our “normal” / “human” skin suit for the day, going out in the world, and repressing our natural autistic responses in an effort to first think WWNTD? (what would NT people do).

This not only disrupts how we naturally engage with the world around us, but it also adds anxiety to our socialization (well for me at least). Making us worried that we will slip up, forget the “right” thing to say, and worst of all, people might see that we are different.

Basically, it's doing any of the “learned” behaviours that as autistics we are told we need to do to live in society and be social.

Well I’ve got news for you, it's not true!

In my adult life, I’ve found that when I socialise without these enforced barriers (that actually don't support any form of autistic social experiences) my interactions are positive and don’t lead me to burn out.

Socially acceptable was always a weird concept to me, I knew all the “rules”, what to do and what not to do. But even when I did all those things, it was so unnatural to me that I looked even more bizarre ><

Masking to me means favoring other people's needs and comfort over your own. Something I refuse to do anymore.

Some of the things we are told to mask are;

• Our conversations (scripting)
• Stim muting
• Forcibly enduring sensory overload in an attempt to “fit in”
• Special interest topics

But to me, these things are regulatory processes, they allow me to be social and engage. To have conversations and enjoy them.

Whereas others simply see them as physical ticks, things that could be taught away. This often results in my social experiences becoming meltdowns/shutdowns where I am sensory overwhelmed, socially fatigued, and anxious.

Unmasking takes time, it involves relearning what we as autistic individuals need in social environments, often taking adults years.  Some of the things that can help me to feel more comfortable being myself are;

• Discover what your sensory needs are through an individualised sensory profile and do not compromise on the supports you implement.

• Surround yourself with others who have different opinions, views, and capabilities than yourself. When everyone is different, are we different or normal?