An Open Letter to; Parents, Industry Professionals, and other Allies of Autism.

An Open Letter to; Parents, Industry Professionals, and other Allies of Autism.

What are you truly doing to support the needs of those on the spectrum? Have we really done a good enough job at instilling an understanding of what it means to be autistic? Are you instead, hindering the AS person in your life?

How as the guardian of an AS person are you hindered by current industry dynamics, in supporting the needs of your loved one on the spectrum?

Your immediate response might be one of conviction; “of course I advocate for the needs of my AS loved one!” “I always “ “I” … Where does this leave “us”? Second to neuro-typical expectations and needs.

This isn’t to say that industry professionals don’t believe what they are doing is inclusive, supportive, and positive but complacency is the forerunner of mediocrity. So why shouldn’t we continue to challenge, question, and evolve?

We know that Autism is a neural divergence, not something that can be taught, supported, or medicated away. We know it affects differently over a lifetime. We know that AS adults are some of the most at-risk populations for social isolation and suicide (current studies show that AS adults are 9 times socially isolated than the general population with a reported 28% of autistic adults having no social contact whatsoever). Yet we continue to isolate, further dilute and teach inadequacy.

So let’s ask ourselves what does the community and supportive socialisation for autistics look like? How do parents reinforce self-representation and inclusion rather than advocating on behalf of our autistic loved one?

We see neuro-typical people be uncomfortable, not say what they mean, white lie… mask… in almost all of their social interactions, so it is no surprise that their innate response would be to share how they socialise in an effort to support the AS in their life. But this way of socialising is so far removed from how our AS brains work. ‘Why would people say something they don’t mean? Why would you put yourself through something that was depleting to you? What do you mean you don’t have sensory issues?’ All these thoughts plus more, usually a song or an entire bus timetable are running through our heads at any given moment!

The way AS people socialise is vastly different - honest, distant (COVID safe before its time!), intense, deep. We often don’t have time for the “niceties” and nuances of NT social life, because we have more important (to us) things to talk about. And that’s the way we like it.

As an ally to Autistic people, there is a myriad of improvements you can easily make, that will authentically enhance opportunities for self-representation and autonomy for autistic individuals in our home and community.

Ask.

’What allows you to feel most comfortable to socialise? What restricts you from having a positive experience when you’re in community? This could be anything from the wind creating sensory issues, or perhaps anxiety shutting down spoken communication. All things any NT person may never truly consider.

Allow; Us to be ourselves, even in fear of meltdown, stimming, and weirdness. Lean into the challenge, as it opens up the possibility of harmony and comfortability for your AS loved one.

And remind yourself, the life of AS individuals looks different from yours. Maybe we don’t work full time in an office, maybe we only talk about one topic, maybe we enjoy solitude as a way to support social interaction.

Let's celebrate the AS-typical!

January 5, 2021